Trying to compete against previous girlfriend/wife
Failure to express needs and wants early in the relationship
Starting something they cannot keep up
Trying to be superwoman
Focused on impressing in laws, friends and other family members
Trying to be everything in the relationship
Monopolizing his time
Neglect of prior friendships
Devoting every moment to the other person
Neglecting their own hopes and dreams
Changing who they are to appease their significant other
Not finding the balance between home or relationship, work and other responsibilities
© June 2017 Kim Seymore
When referring to work-life balance, Shonda Rhimes (producer, screenwriter and author) shares on Redbookmag that you can never do everything perfectly and that you never really achieve balance. She also shares that as women managing work and family, it is important to go after the things that you want in life. This, she believes, has a positive impact on the lives of her children because they see their mother doing what she enjoys. She shares that this creates a happy home because she is not feeling resentful for sacrificing what she wants to do.
Women get consumed with trying to successfully balance work and family. So much so that when it gets tough, the things that are eliminated first are our own hopes and dreams.
Tia Mowry, actress and entrepreneur shares in Vibe Magazine that work-life balance is about prioritizing and making sure that’s there is time for self. While family comes first, she shares that the more you care for yourself, the better you will be for your family. We must not feel guilty about tending to our own needs and wishes.
Some form of work-life balance can help you stay focused and keep things in perspective. But it can be challenging to manage it all.
Below are some tips to help you in this process:
1. Prioritize and structure your day according to a schedule developed the day before
2. Create time and space to relax. Spend time away from the computer/phone/internet
3. Develop an exercise routine that you will participate in several times throughout the week
4. Meditate to create an atmosphere of calm and peace
5. Eliminate activities that serve no real purpose in your life
6. Set much needed boundaries. Learn to say “No”
7. Evaluate your personal habits and activities
Achieving work-life balance is all about prioritizing and managing your time with what’s important in your life.
Click the link below for more tips on how to manage your time
As you celebrate your mothers, grandmothers, and all of the other wonderful women in your life that have held a special place in your heart as a seasoned mentor, take a moment to celebrate yourself. Whether you are married with children or single with one or two, you have been blessed with the gift of motherhood. As a mother, you may not always feel loved, appreciated, respected, or significant as your children grow and begin to walk the path of their future. But know that you have done your part and the lessons that you have taught will be remembered for a lifetime. So today with that in mind, do something that you love, even if only for a moment. Lastly, a special word for those mothers who are alone, or feel uncelebrated in whatever their life circumstance, today is your day. Regardless of what it looks like, take this day and celebrate you. You deserve it!
©Kim Seymore May 2017 https://kimseymore.com
1, Take her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant
2. Sit on the couch and watch her favorite TV show with her
3. Treat her to popcorn and a movie
4. Go for a walk together
5. Sit out on the patio and listen to her stories
6. Surprise her with her favorite dessert
7. Take her shopping
8. Include a personal note of appreciation inside of her Mother’s Day card
9. Give her a big hug
10. If you live out of town, surprise her with a visit
How do you move past your limitations and into the life that you desire? Below are a few questions to ask yourself. Be honest and prepare for a change.
1. What is the issue (limitation) that I am facing?
2. How did I get here?
3. When did I decide to fully become my limitation and live it everyday?
4. What places, things, people, and/or situations have reinfoced my limitation?
5. What affect has this had on the progress of my life?
6. One of my biggest life goals is to…..because…….
7. What steps will I take to move past my limitation?
Let Your Why Be Your Greatest Influence to Change
Feeling stressed? Are you wondering about how you can relieve stress and still operate in your busy life? If not managed properly, stress can lead to serious medical conditions later in life. If you cannot readily remove stressors in your life due to various circumstances, gaining knowledge on how to decrease stress will do wonders for you right now. Try the following tips to live a less stressful life:
1. Get more rest, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed
2. Participate in community serving activites that are closest to your life goals
3. Take a nice quiet walk around a park, along the beach or in your neighborhood
4. Ask someone for assistance when you feel you have taken on more than you can handle on your own
5. Participate in an activity that you enjoy and that brings a sense of calmness to your day
6. Take a deep breath and count until you begin to feel your mood calming
7. Create a daily schedule and aim to stay on target with your tasks for the day according to your schedule
8. Prioritize your tasks on your to do list and do what’s important and urgent first
© Kim Seymore May 2017. kimseymore.com
When things in your life don’t seem to line up with the vision you had in mind, it’s time to make some changes.
The world around you will evolve, change, become better or worse all in the course of a day. You will find that your realm of control is limited and regardless of how hard you try, there will be many things that you simply cannot change.
The old saying is true, if you want things around you to change, work on yourself. Instead of complaining about what bothers you at home, who said what to you at work, or which one of your children rubbed you the wrong way, decide what you have the power to change.
Take a close look at your life and decide what things don’t line up with what you envision. You have the power to change you.
If you want to feel better about yourself, change your look.
If you want to feel better about who you are become more knowledgeable in other areas and work to accomplish your goals.
If you want to raise your self esteem, start to take better care of yourself and do more of the things that you love.
If you are unhappy with your environment, make some decisions and take the necessary action to change it
As you begin to take notice of the inconsistencies in your life, know that you decide who and what enters your life. If anything doesn’t match up with who you want to become and where you want to be, recognize it and use your power to grow
©Kim Seymore 2017
Domestic violence continues to show up in marriages and plague families still today. The ever present conflict that arises when two individuals in a marriage fail to see eye to eye is characteristic of most marriages. It is a necessary part of the growth process that, if done in a healthy way, can strengthen the bond and improve the overall quality of the marriage thereby benefiting the family as a whole. But what happens when there is a breakdown in the function and foundation of the marriage and it is no longer as it was meant to be? The questions that we want to address today is not how or why this breakdown takes place, but why women stay in such an unhealthy environment.
Security For some women, the perceived safety and security of their marriage is all that they have and they struggle with the thought of being able to provide this for themselves and their children. Even though someone on the outside looking in can see the detriment in remaining in such an environment; either the abused women cannot see or chooses not to see. From the inside there is the thought, and in some cases, the fear that without the marriage there is a threat to their security and that survival without it is dismal.
Religious beliefs When you grow up with strong religious beliefs, you may have been taught that the only reason one may divorce is for adultery. As a result, the way become clouded and there is no perceived valid reason to end the marriage except in this case. So if there is no known evidence of adultery, in these cases where religion is an essential part of the marriage, there is only one thing to do; stay.
Children Making the children choose or having them torn between which parent they would prefer to live with presents a challenge when considering leaving an abusive marriage. Depending on the extent of the abuse, the safety of the children is a concern, especially if he abusive husband will likely create obstacles to leaving with the children or sharing the children after divorce
Finances Stay at home moms may have this fear as their whole survival may depended solely on the earnings of their abusive husband. They may not have access to money, bank accounts or other financial resources. For women who work and are in an abusive relationship, finances may still be an issue as both may share a bank account or the abusive husband controls most of the spending
Fear A real or perceived threats can often occupy the mind of the abused wife. Just the thought of packing up and leaving causes a knot in the pit of her stomach. Depending on the severity of the abuse, a women may fear what will happen to her or her children if she makes the choice to walk out. Often times, the abuser has presented a strong case for why his wife should not leave, furthermore increasing her fear,
Support Many women suffer in silence without letting their family and/or friends know their dismal circumstances. Some family members know but don’t know how to help. Other families are oblivious to what is taking place in the relationship as it is hidden so well by both the abused woman and her abusive husband. Unfortunately, in many cases, abused women do not let anyone know about their unhealthy home environment for fear of harm being done to her, her children, or her family. Other abused women are just plan embarrassed and would prefer to cover up their husbands bad behavior
Hope that things will change It is not unlikely or unheard of that things do change. It is the hope of the abused woman that her husband will change and start to treat her as she deserves. There is always a glimmer of hope within the cycle of abuse ( tension building, incident, reconciliation, calm) that gives the false idea that things will change. But as reality sets in and the cycle continues, change become a small fragment of hope that may never quite manifests fully to make a real difference
Lack of knowledge of resources As stated earlier, while a victim of abuse may share with family members, they often may not know how to help. Without knowledge of resources, the victim suffers unnecessary reoccurring episodes. It is also possible that because of the extent of the abuse, the victim may feel that no one can help her. She is unaware of the extensive services that may be available or how to access them.
There may be many other reasons not listed here of why women choose to stay in abusive marriages. If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, direct them to the resources below:
Resources for victims of domestic violence:
©Kim Seymore April 2017