The Peace You Can Control

It is easy to become wrapped up in someone else’s drama. Perhaps the most difficult part is finding your way out of the mess you got yourself in. Your time is no longer your time as you spend the time that you do have on solving someone else’s problems.

All of this can take a toll on your social, emotional, mental and physical state. You have to get to a place where you can separate your life, your hopes, and your dreams from that of the people that you have jumped out in the middle of the ocean without a life jacket to save.

There is the peace that you hope for, which shows up in your mind as you become more and more overwhelmed with your present situation.

Then there is the peace that you can have if you go after it. There will come a time when you will need to separate yourself from those that are not going in the same direction that you are. It’s one thing to lend a helping hand to someone who reaches out to you, but when they don’t do the work to change their own circumstances, they can pull you down with them. This is when your peace is interrupted.

Regain your strength to stand up for what matters in your life. The peace you can control speaks volumes to how well you know yourself and your level of self love and self respect. When you find yourself living in someone else’s drama and your life turns chaotic, set some parameters in place.

Say ‘no’.

Speak up.

Make yourself a priority.

Hold people accountable for their own stuff.

Do more of what you love.

Create the life you have always dreamed of with space to grow.

The peace you can control speaks to your spirit giving you the incomparable feeling of hope love and joy right where you are. Learn how to make more opportunities in your life for these moments. If nothing else, when things become a bit challenging in your life, you will know how to bring yourself to a place of resolve.

©️ February 2018 Kim Seymore Inspired Serenity by Kim Seymore

Website: kimseymore.com

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The Silent Treatment

If you are like many other women, you may or may not have experienced times when you just flat out refused to talk to someone close to you. Whether it was a spouse, child, sibling, or friend, we learned the art of handing down the punishment of ‘you don’t get to speak to me until I’m ready to speak to you’ (aka silent treatment).

Let’s face it, you took pride in you hard work at getting your point across without a single word. By the way, what was your point? Oh yes, ‘you cannot treat or speak to me just any kind of way’. And how did you communicate thus message, Ahh yes, by being silent.

The oxymoron of the ‘silent treatment’ is that we are actually expecting it to take the place of the communication that is necessary in relationships. The silent treatment is meant to punish the offender. It is the hope of the one giving the silent treatment that their offender would not only notice that the atmosphere has become strained but also to be able to somehow connect it to the infraction that preceded the silence.

Once they have made the connections then, still without a word, the offender must piece it all together accurately to thoroughly understand where they went wrong, what they should have done differently and how they can make sure to never make the same mistake again,

In addition they are to be able to gauge your feelings while at the same time making up for what they did wrong.

The truth of the matter is, while you may feel you have every right to be angry, disappointed, and/or frustrated, silence alone simply cannot communicate everything that needs to be said.

While the silent treatment drives the point home that you are beyond tolerant at that moment, it cannot and will not communicate what you can say with your own words.

This passive aggressive approach to handling an issue does the opposite of what one hopes to accomplish. When you are silent, you literally have no voice. Your thoughts, ideas, and options cannot be heard not understood.

The one who has offended you may takes a very different stance from what you had hoped to accomplish. Your silence may communicate that it is simply okay to continue to perform the action that drove you to this point. It may give them an out; an excuse to continue the behavior. It clouds the atmosphere with misunderstandings about why there is even silence. Finally, you loose respect when you choose not to speak what is necessary.

So the next time that you want to handle a conflict or other situation with silence; think again. Choose to speak your truth so that those around you will have a clear understanding of who you are and what you will and will not accept in your life. There is just something about verbalizing who we truly are that has power. It communicates self love and really makes us feel good about ourselves.

©️2018 Kim Seymore Inspired Serenity by Kim Seymore

Empower Yourself

How Single Moms Survive

Single moms have had a place in our society for many years. While the challenges remain difficult, many women have found their way and still manage to raise smart, head strong individuals with college degrees and promising careers; but not without a fight.

The first task is to get yourself to a place where you don’t feel sorry for yourself because your husband or boyfriend left you. You can’t spend forever sulking in your hurt, pain and misery. It would not be wise to try to get revenge or think up some plan to ruin his life. You just don’t have that kind of time. While you are contemplating payback, your child or children are growing up and need you to focus on them.

Of course you must work on yourself, find ways to improve your self esteem and self confidence. Remember your worth, know your gifts, remain confident in who you are becoming. What we sometimes forget is that our children are watching. Regardless of their age or their ability to understand what is going on, they are learning from you how to exist in their world. You must set the example of how to handle joy, sadness, disappointment, conflict and any other life issue that comes your way. Model it because one day it will be their life.

Once you get over yourself and become clear that this is not about you, the work begins.

Plan, organize and schedule your day. Include your children’s in school and out of school activities as well as your responsibilities at work, home and any other area in your life. Consider an hour by hour schedule, weekly planner or checklist method; whatever works for you.

Make sure that your children are involved in activities, clubs, sports, something that will not only keep them from idle time but will enrich their experience and teach them things like teamwork, diversity, and self confidence

Attend their events regardless of what you have going on. Go to the games, the performance, the concerts, even the practices. Even if they don’t say it. It will mean the world to them to see mom there.

Put routines and expectations in place at home. Make chores everyone’s responsibility. Set aside a time for homework, games, conversation and even a little tv watching as a family

Don’t underestimate the power of teaching at home. Discuss homework with your child. Read with and to them. Talk about friends and how to handle certain situations. Share relevant and age appropriate personal experiences to let them know they are not alone. If you have teens or pre teens, tackle those rough conversations about sex, drugs, peer pressure, alcohol and every other relevant issue.

Make sure they are aware of where your priorities lie and what you values. You teach children good morals and values by what you model. While I cannot tell you what you should value as you will determine that on your own, you should focus on those things that will help your children to be successful in life. For example, getting a good education and cultivating healthy relationships are extremely important in today’s society.

Depending on your situation you will need to be comfortable talking about their absent parent. If you are co-parenting, make sure that if possible both you and the father are on the same page with how to answer question about what happened and why you are not together. If the father is not in the picture at all, prepare what will you say to your children when they ask. It is absolutely not okay to bash the father in any circumstance. Regardless of how or why you came to be a single parent, your child should not be brought down by your personal opinions and feeling about the other parent. If for some reason, your break up was because it was no longer safe to remain in the relationship, then when the time is appropriate and with additional expert advice from a trust professional, decide when to share that information.

Managing single parenting and work or running a business is a huge challenge and can leave you worn out and exhausted daily. From grocery shopping to cleaning up the house and keeping order in your house to attending every activity for each child, you will certainly feel the pressure and sometimes the pain. Prioritizing and managing your time is the best solution

While I am mentioning this last it is definitely us not least. It is the most important thing that you will do in this process and any other for that matter. Keeping a relationship with God will help you in times of loneliness, frustration, and disappointment. It will help keep you balanced and focused on what is important. It will keep you sane when you feel you are losing your mind. This relationship is the most important relationship of your life as it will set the foundation for all of the others. Involve your children as you continue to grow. They too must understand the relevance of having God in their lives.

So how do single moms do it? One second, one minute, one day at a time. While I cannot promise you a bed a roses, these tips should help you keep your eyes on the goal: raising healthy, responsible and competent adults.

Something important to remember is YOU. While you don’t have the time to feel sorry for yourself for being in this situation, you do need to take care of your self. The most valuable time that you may have in your day outside of spending time with your children is ME TIME. Make sure your nightly routine includes time for yourself. Set a bed time for the children at a decent time so that the house will be totally quiet. Use this time to pray, rejuvenate, breathe, take a warm bath. regroup, reflect, rest and prepare for the next day.

Single moms have been making it happen for years and you can too. So gear up, get ready, and stand up to the challenge. Your children deserve nothing less.

©️ 2018 Inspired Serenity by Kim Seymore

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Finding Time to Start a Business

The numbers are climbing as women of today are working a full time job in addition to starting their own businesses. Who has the time, if you work, have a spouse, and young children? Nevertheless, women who have these very same life characteristics are researching and branching out into entrepreneurship.

If you have ever entertained the idea of starting a business while you still hold a job, below are a few suggestions:

1. Decode on and research the type of business you want to run (i.e credentials , certifications, etc.)

2. Communicate your aspirations with your family to gauge their level of support. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do

3. Connect with experts in the area that you are interested in

4. Consider virtual social media marketing (even if you will run a local establishment)

5. Check out the competition and learn what you can about their success

6. Set SMART goals

7. Connect with a mentor or coach in your area of interest

8. Decide your ultimate goal for your business. Will you go full time or continue your job? If full time what will it take to get here. If part-time, how will you manage your time in both places?

9. Prioritize your life responsibilities and use a planner or some type of scheduler to optimize work/life balance

10. Stay healthy. Eat well. Exercise regularly

11. Believe in yourself and your abilities

©️2017 Inspired Serenity by Kim Seymore

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Find Your Platform

The desire to inspire others is becoming more prevalent in today’s society Let’s face it, we all have a story! Some of us would rather just let agreeing dogs lie and maybe for good reason. Some of us share bits and pieces only when necessary. Some of us desire to share our story to help others but just don’t know how to get started.

Whether you want to share your story or if you would prefer to empower others with your words, voice, wisdom or some other gift, you must have a platform.

I use Periscope TV as a platform to inspire and empower my followers.

https://www.pscp.tv/kimseymore/follow

Below are a few tips that will help you get acclimated to using Periscope to interact with your followers:

***Create an engaging title that will get the attention of your viewers**+

1. Find a quiet place to broadcast with no distractions or background noise

2. Take a few seconds before you begin sharing your content to welcome your viewers. Tell them about who you are and what your do.

3. Ask your viewers to swipe and share with their followers

4. Begin delivering your content

6. Periodically, take a moment to thank those that are tuned into your broadcast

7.Answer questions relevant to your content

8. Block users immediately that make inappropriate comments but don’t allow them to get you off of your topic. Keep going

9. When you end your content, thank viewers for tuning in and share contact info such as website, Facebook, etc. Take caution when sharing personal Facebook page. I suggest you create a separate page. Remind viewers to turn their notifications on.

As you gain followers, take note of when they are most likely to be on Periscope.View broadcasts of others with the same interests. Try to decide on a regular schedule to broadcast so your followers know when you are on.

Finally, it takes time to build a following. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t have followers or viewers even after several broadcasts. Continue your work. The right people who are waiting to hear you will show up at the right time.

©️ December 2017 Inspired Serenity by Kim Seymore

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International Day of the Girl 2017

As women, sometimes we underestimate who we are , what we can do and why we are here. We wonder if we are strong enough, smart enough and if we are a worthy participant in this world of challenging times.

We question our skills, our abilities, and our accomplishments as we think more deeply about our troubles than about our place in the world. Through our uncertainties, our failure to believe, and the inconsistencies in our lives, we limit the possibilities.

On this International Day of the Girl 2017, first know how awesome you truly are , regardless of what your circumstances may say. Second, may you know that in your life, whether in your household, your job, or even the grocery store, there is a girl watching you. It is my hope that you would know how important you are to that girl.

Today, I challenge you to walk with your head up, shoulders back and look every person that you speak to in the eye as you model the woman of excellence that you are. Refuse to allow the woes of your day to interfere with the light that you are in the world. Remember she is watching you.

Today set an example of hope and promise in the life of a girl. Let her see the compassion, knowledge, and strength of a woman. Through you let her see that she can accomplish anything if she works hard enough.

You may be the only example that she see. You may be the only example that she looks for. You may be the only chance that she has at becoming even a shadow of an excellent woman one day .

Today, for every girl in your life, let her know how beautiful, special, and gifted she is . Tell her she is worthy and significant in spite of a bad day. Help her to see hope for her future. You may never know but because of you she just may decide to live her dreams.

Never Give In

Frustration, hurt and pain plague our very existence and we find ourselves wondering why, how. and what next. All of this comes at the most inopportune moments when we have used up every bit of energy that we have left.

Our life at a standstill, our hope deflating and our resolve at an all time low; we worry that we will not be able to keep up and that our will to take one more step will fade away.

These are the enemies of our soul; the very thorn in our side that promises to stay with us making us seemingly powerless to fight.

But it is in this very moment that you must get in there and fight!

As you press forward you must resist the urge to give in to defeat. No matter how worn out you think you are, with the start of every new day, you must know that the battle is not over and the war is not won.

Get back on track to living each day with great anticipation of that which you first had faith for.

….and whatever you do, don’t give in.

©2017 Kim Seymore

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No

This two letter word is so simple to write but often the most difficult for some women to speak. Even when we are tired, stressed, worn out, and overwhelmed, we still give in to the sometimes unreasonable and often untimely requests of others

So how should you respond to yet another “honey do”, “mom can you”, “girls’ night invite” or some other petition for your time, energy and/or effort?

If it is not a time sensitive event or emergency, honor yourself by taking a moment to think before you respond. Assess where you are in your physical, mental and emotional strength.

Do you have enough to give to someone else?

What about your own schedule? Is your schedule already so tight that you barely have a moment to breathe? Are you so drained that you clearly recognize that you need to slow down? Are you already trying to distance yourself from people pleasing behaviors?

I am not at all suggesting that you neglect or decline activities that are important to you or deny your family and friends when they request your help. I am just simply saying that you have the power to choose what goes on in your life and sometimes you just may have to say “no”.

©2017 Kin Seymore

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Shielding the Spirit From Disappointment 

tree by window

On a rare occasion, optimism has won over your usual pessimistic outlook. Your spirits are high and for once you feel like you are worth something; as soon as this one thing works out.

You have done the research, put in the leg work, and put just about all of your eggs in one basket. You heard the promise; or so you thought. Needless to say you began making plans in your mind, almost to the point of obsessing, about the inevitable good news.

Then, the all too familiar disappointment followed by a drop in your spirit.

This one outcome has caused you to feel, in some way inferior, latching on to the thoughts that if you WERE this way or that way, or if you had SAID this or that, or even if you HAD this or that, the outcome would be different.

In those moments, we fail to realize that it was not supposed to work according to our plan. Yes, we understand that there is a high power working in our favor and we believe that there is a certain course that our life must take. But in moments of disappointment, where do we really stand?

Because it is our spirit that has the capacity to be vibrant and free, we must seek to protect it from the woes of disappointment. It is the hope of our spirit that sheds light in dark places. It is our spirit that can help heal a broken heart, mend relationships, and provide the spiritual capital to accomplish our life goals. Without the beauty that is the spirit, we often find ourselves alone, in desolate places.

We must understand the value of the spirit in our lives; so much so that we will not allow it to be damaged by the disappointments in our lives.

It is our spirit that picks us back up and says try again

It is our spirit that says we can win at any cost

It is our spirit that keeps us strong even when we are weak

It is our spirit that remind us  of who we are and what we are here to do

It is our spirit that reflects our true worth back to us even when we feel less than adequate

When disappointments arise in our lives, if we continue to nurture the spirit we will find that not only are we worthy of greatness but that we can withstand the trials that come on the way to our triumph.

©2017 Kim Seymore                                                   https://www.kimseymore.com

When Your Worst Enemy is You

Looking at the world around you, it’s easy to get discouraged when things fail to work out the way that you have planned. When you are still in the same place after years of hoping, wishing, and praying for a break through, one can feel defeated. When you get to this point, it’s time to take a closer look at yourself. 

The odds may be against you ever getting a promotions, owning your own business, going back to school, buying a house or a new car. It may seem impossible that you would ever find the perfect mate for you and start a family. It may look like the money will never be right for you to take that vacation you have always wanted to take. Whatever the desire, some things  will only come to pass as you look inward.

Rather than blame the people in your life, lack of money , red tape, politics, or lack of knowledge and skills, take a closer look at yourself. Your dreams are only as strong as you are to see them through. When you come up against an obstacle or barrier in your life, whether it be a person or a particular situation, go to plam B, C, or D. Never give up before you have exhausted all options. 

You can only do this when you know who you are and have confisenxe in your skills and abilities. Greatness comes from within. This means that it is already in you. You don’t have to go searching for how you can be great. Just start to live it everyday’ Take note of every talent, skill, and ability that you have been blessed with. Those are both your weapons in in the fight and your ticket to your dreams.

No one can truly know you as deeply as you know yourself. No longer alow yourself to be negatively affected by others. No longer allow nonsense into your life. When you allow things amd people into your life that don’t line up with your life vision and goals, YOU, not them, are your own worst enemy because you allowed it. 

Understand that sometimes when things fail to work in your favor, you have fallen behind and there is more that you can do. Never stay still, stagnant, or  complacent. You must keep moving towards your goals to be your own cheerleader Do people at a sporting event  cheer the players sitting on the bench? Even the injured players get applause as they limp off the field or wave their hand as a sign that they are ok. If you are paralyzed with fear or ridicule, what do you have to cheer for?

There are enough enemies out in the world and if you look hard enough you may even find some in your circle. But let it not be you. Never be your own worst enemy. Be your biggest cheerleader and  keeep moving towards your goals.